It's amazing how seemingly meaningless events can impact your future. I was thinking back to my post about when my phobia of vomiting began. I was seven years old, and yet that same fear is still with me at 25. Year after year the fear just never stopped. Nowhere along the way did I have any notion or reason not to feel this way. How crazy is it that an irrational fear from childhood can follow you into your adult years--that you can never outgrow something that started pre-adolescence? People stop worrying about things like getting sucked down the drain in the bathtub because as you grow up, you can rationalize and make sense of events/emotions. I guess for me it was hard to disrupt the pattern of thinking because I'd repeat the thought all day every day, then I developed a digestive disorder and almost had to think about it and be aware of the physical symptoms. What is it they say? It only takes seven days to start a habit? I've had about 6000 days of thinking this way, so it's pretty ingrained. I imagine it's similar to trying to break an addiction. Even though you may know it's harming you, it also feels very familiar and comfortable, and you may have forgotten how to live life any other way. Bottom line: I shouldn't have the same ideas about life as a seven-year-old. Now to figuring out how to unthink these thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment