Body-Image: Age 10

I spent the majority of elementary school skinny. My highest weight was 60lbs by the end of fifth grade. But I didn't think about it or consider my body as unhealthy looking. To be honest, I never even thought about the way I looked at all. Instead, I focused my energy inward on the sick feelings that a combination of Crohn's and anxiety had cultivated. Of course, this had to change at some point and that point was a school field trip to Water Country--our local water park.

I had spent the day floating around in the wave pool with y friends. Everything was ordinary and I was having a good time. I was standing by myself, shivering under the cool grey sky without a towel--goosebumps and purplish skin from head to toe. I think I was wearing a one piece bathing suit, but I don't really remember. The details of the suit have been replaced by the scathing remarks of a girl a couple years older than me. She approached me, unprovoked, and asked coolly, "So, are you like anorexic or bulimic or something?" Stunned, I blurted out a quick "no" and they walked away, unaffected by the interaction. That was good enough for them, but from that moment on I never looked at myself the same way again. I felt so hurt and suddenly naked and I didn't quite understand why. I wanted to hide my now apparent bony legs and arms and yearned for a towel so that nobody else could see my withered body. I had heard the words "anorexia" and "bulimia" before. I knew they were eating disorders, but I never thought of them as any more than just words. I knew that I wasn't either one of these labels (especially not bulimic) so I couldn't figure out why it upset me so much. Now I understand.