My Crohn's hasn't been great over the last few months. It's certainly not the worst it has ever been, but it's gotten me down a little bit. The latest blow just happened a couple of minutes ago but more on that in a minute. I had gotten a colonoscopy/endoscopy a little over a month ago and the results showed inflammation throughout my colon as well as ulcers and inflammation in my stomach. This was somewhat a relief to find out because my weight started dropping and I began feeling weak and generally fatigued more often than not. And as I typically do, I blamed myself for this. I was in denial that all my clothes that I was once squeezing into were now so loose that they hung off my bony body. I wouldn't let myself believe it at first. But when it got to the point of no denial, I thought it was because I just wasn't trying hard enough to force down 3000 calories a day even when it hurt to try. I've somewhat accepted my body the way it is now--back down to about 97 pounds where it seems to settle, but I look a bit emaciated. I feel like I lose a little every day and I worry about "moving" too much. Like any little bit of cardio is going to make me shrink even more rapidly. The part that bothers me the most is that it physically hurts to sit down at this weight. My butt has absolutely no cushion anymore and when I sit on a hard seat I can feel my bones grinding against the surface. It's a little depressing.
So anyway, after reviewing my results, my new doctor decided that it would be a good idea for me to start on Remicaid to see if that would put me into longterm remission. I read up on it and while there are a lot of risks involved, an overwhelming number of people seem to achieve remission and even gain the weight their bodies never could because of malabsorption. This was great news! I could eat like I normally would and it would actually go somewhere! My doc said it would be probably a week to get my insurance's approval and that I could start within a week of that. But now, a month later, I hadn't heard anything from my insurance company until today and was informed that they had denied my request. For some reason they thought I had tried Humira (even though I've never been on a biologic before) and denied me because they thought I had failed on it. I felt crushed. It makes me feel so frustrated with our health care system, because despite all the records and proof my doctor sent to them, it's as though they're looking for a reason to deny people who are actually sick and in need of care. It doesn't make sense to me. They make it so hard to get the help you need when you need it until your illness progresses to be worse than when you started. It makes me feel awful for people who are worse of than me who are also going through the same situation and just want the chance to be well. I guess it's the business of being sick.
So anyway, after reviewing my results, my new doctor decided that it would be a good idea for me to start on Remicaid to see if that would put me into longterm remission. I read up on it and while there are a lot of risks involved, an overwhelming number of people seem to achieve remission and even gain the weight their bodies never could because of malabsorption. This was great news! I could eat like I normally would and it would actually go somewhere! My doc said it would be probably a week to get my insurance's approval and that I could start within a week of that. But now, a month later, I hadn't heard anything from my insurance company until today and was informed that they had denied my request. For some reason they thought I had tried Humira (even though I've never been on a biologic before) and denied me because they thought I had failed on it. I felt crushed. It makes me feel so frustrated with our health care system, because despite all the records and proof my doctor sent to them, it's as though they're looking for a reason to deny people who are actually sick and in need of care. It doesn't make sense to me. They make it so hard to get the help you need when you need it until your illness progresses to be worse than when you started. It makes me feel awful for people who are worse of than me who are also going through the same situation and just want the chance to be well. I guess it's the business of being sick.
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